So I receive an invite to the Retail Week Awards. 

Black tie, the colleagues say. 

“No problem”, I think. “I have my black suit, white shirt, black tie combo, that should do the trick.”

Turns out that black tie means bowtie, silly shirt, cumberbund optional.

So off I go to Moss Bros and rent the full get-up.

I’m assured I look dashing and very 007, but really, could this whole get-up be any more anachronistic?