My mum passed away suddenly on Tuesday.

My dad, my brother, my family, me… we’re in shock.

Mum had been fighting brain cancer these last few months and the chemo therapy was going well. The last MRI scan even showed that the three tumors were shrinking. It wasn’t enough.

The last time we spoke was on her birthday this past weekend. Mum was in good spirits, watching Wimbledon and shouting at the TV as she always loved to do. We talked about how she was feeling and that I was planning to come for a visit soon.

We also spoke about my first ultra this coming weekend, the Chiltern Challenge Ultra.

She said that she was proud of me and that she knew I would complete the course. She also said I was completely insane to even contemplate running that distance.

I promised I would be careful and finish the course, even if I had to walk, limp or crawl.

“Good luck, you nutter. I love you.”

Turns out those would be mum’s last words to me.

We laughed and said our goodbyes.

I’m going to run 50k for my mum.

So that I can keep my promise.

So that I can make her proud.

So that I can celebrate how she lived her life: loud, passionate and full love.

So that I can begin to try and put my heart back together.

I think she would have liked that.

She will be with me, every step of the way.

As she will be for the rest of my life.