I really wanted to love my Apple Watch.

I thought it would be like all the other Apple products I own: not really necessary, but once you have them at your fingertips, you quickly realise how much thought has gone into the product, how effortless they are to understand, how simple they make your life.

After my early enthusiasm for the Apple Watch, the reality of living with it has been entirely underwhelming and even downright dangerous.

So much so, that I’m going to get rid of it.

Here’s why

• It’s so slow
• In my attempts to get rid of the watch, I’ve lent to friends for days and weeks at a time. This last week for Christmas, I didn’t even take it with me on my trip to Manila. Not once during any of these Apple Watch free times did I think: if only I had my watch on my now
• Because anything that the Apple Watch can do, my phone can do a lot quicker, without me looking like a complete muppet
• You need two hands to operate the Apple Watch: in order to activate the watch and display my boarding pass for example, I need to stop walking, release my grip on my suitcase and fiddle with the watch. Using my phone, I don’t have to break stride
• The world (OK, London) is built for right handed people: Oyster card readers and boarding pass readers tend to be on the right hand side of the gantry – simple when you have you boarding pass in paper or phone format in your right hand – less so when you want to use your Apple Watch and proceed to do an awkward stretch across your body to tap the watch to the reader
• After the initial excitement of being able to take remote-controlled selfies, or respond to messages with a tap, I’ve reverted to using my phone to responding to messages: turns out I’ve developed a love for language that just requires more than the occasional ‘OK’ or ‘Thank you’
• The fitness tracking is completely useless. I’d suggest something like a dedicated device designed to be on your person at all times with a batterly life longer than 48 hours. Or, if like me you like running around the countryside for hours on end, a GPS watch that will track your movements properly and accurately for hours on end is what you need
• Unlike any other watch, you cannot sneak a glance to see how much longer you have to sit through that painful meeting

Now, I realise this isn’t the best sales pitch, but if you fancy a second hand Apple Watch (£400 or nearest offer for a 42mm stainless steel with a black sports band and UK charger) let me know in the comments below.